Tennis Ball Hunt

Today I brought Jacob & Joanna to my beginners tennis class.  They were a little bored in the beginning, so I let them play w/ 1 tennis ball (to share).   Then they decided they needed another one, and another one, excitedly shouting for every ball they received.  Soon, they started cheering whenever one of the beginners would hit a ball out of the cage, as they scrambled to find it.  Then they realized that they didn't need to wait for us to hit the ball out of the cage, they could go on a tennis ball treasure hunt.  By the end of the night, they had 20 tennis balls all lined up.  It kept them busy, and I was able to have a very nice lesson.

Ugly growths on my skin

So another medical blog . . . 

Today, since my awesome Blue Cross Power Health fund insurance will run out at the end of the year, I decided to go to the dermatologist to remove some ugly growths I get on my skin.  I've gotten them since I was in my junior/ senior year.  The first time I got it on my right fore-arm, I picked at it, and it would get bigger and bigger.  I finally got liquid nitrogen put on it in college, and it left a scar the size of a dime.  But it's flat, and it's gone.

Anyway , I have two of these lovely things growing on my face.  I found out it's called seborrheic keratosis, and to my surprise, it's an OLD PERSON condition!  The doctor was surprised I've had them since I was in my late teens!   I don't look forward to what my skin will look like when I become an OLD PERSON.   Although as I was venting out loud, Joanna reminded me that I already am an old person.

So the doctor anesthetized the two spots and scraped them off w/ a blade.  Sounds pretty gross.  Glad I didn't have to do it myself.  Didn't hurt a bit except for the pinch where the anesthesia was being injected.  

So today I am walking around w/ two lovely band-aids on my face.  There's something about band-aids on your face that makes you feel plain silly.   Well, I'll just wear a silly visor on my face, the kind that looks like a welder's mask, to look like I am intentionally being silly.

Slammed a door on my finger

Last Friday, I experienced the third most painful experience in my life.  As I was walking out of Joanna's Chinese school classroom, I remembered that the heavy door slams very loudly.  Not wanting to disturb her classroom, I reached my hand in at the last minute to try to stop the door from slamming.  My timing was late, and my right middle finger was the casualty.  I experienced a pain as sharp as when I was having a contraction.   Most likely a 10 on those doctors scales.  I looked at my fingernail and it was gushing blue in front of my eyes.  Normally, pain subsides eventually , and this happened at 7:30 at night.  Well, at 12:30 that night, my finger was still throbbing in pain.   There was no way I could fall asleep.  Feeling a little irrational and desperate, I decided to to try to compress my finger.  Instead the pain shaprened.  Then I decided to compress the base of my finger.  I later found out that was a really bad idea, because it caused my finger to swell even more.  However, I was starting to become a little delusional and couldn't correlate that mistake to my pain increasing.  I then decided to stare at my finger and I realized that the source of my pain was my fingernail.  I asked my husband to help me cut off my entire fingernail, but he refused.

So I decided to go to the ER at 1:00 AM.   I know it looked silly to go in for one finger, but that small spot on my hand was causing so much pain!  Following me at the ER was a couple to be married the next day.  For some reason, the groom-to-be had a black eye from a rehearsal gone wild and needed stitches .  So I didn't feel as silly being in the ER.  Anyway, I discovered that night that the standard procedure for what I was experiencing was to poke a little hole through the nail.  So after I had my standard 3 x-rays, the doctor just used a little needle and poked my nail.  Immediately, blood game gushing out and I felt a wonderful sense of relief.  Who would have known such a simple trick could help me feel so much better.  Incidentally, I discovered that night that this is a very common first-aid technique, and all the nurses seemed to tell me what to do when it happened.  But they encouraged me to stay to watch the doctor do it so I can learn.  

The next day, my finger was still oozing all the way till dinner time.  It still oozed occassionally the next few days.  But it's amazing that my once purple finger nail looks almost normal now. 

Long time no write . . .

Boy, this blogging thing takes a lot to get used to...  I think I enjoy telling stories to my friends, but when it comes time to sit in front of the computer, it's a lot of work.

Well, we are back at Sutter!  We were at Millikin for a total of exactly 3 weeks, and we ended back in the class Jacob started off in on his first day at Sutter.  It's been almost a month that we've been home, though it seems like we've been there forever.  Everything seems so familiar - the faces, the activities, the campus.  There are only 16 kids in his class.  One of his classmates, who has always landed in his class since Kindergarten, has a vision impairment so he's only in the classroom half the time, bringing the class size to 15.  The class really feels like family.  I don't regret one bit sending him back to Sutter.  And now, he has resumed producing wonderful works of writing and art, and he continues to impress me with the detail in his writing and his illustrations when he puts his heart in it.  His teacher is fabulous!  Full of energy and lots of fun.   Extremely organized.  Although she isn't as affectionate w/ the kids, and Jacob doesn't have a crush on her.  He still has a crush on his first grade teacher, although he now talks about her once a week as opposed to every day!

I volunteer 1 - 2 hours a week, and it's a great opportunity for me to work with students and spy on Jacob in class.  As usual, I love listening to the teachers teach and the kids answer.  I love watching Jacob answer questions in class, and give me hugs when he sees me.  I love watching the way he interacts with his friends, and getting to know the other kids in class.

This is another thing I love about Sutter which isn't available at Millikin  - the enormous amount of time you can spend in class with the teacher.

Some funny things I heard in class today:

(kids are busy cutting their faces out of photo, carrying on a random conversation)

Kid A:  My mom is 38!

Kid B:  My mom is almost 40! But my dad is 50 something

Kid C:  Well, my grandpa is almost 100.  He's 72

Kid B:  Well, my mom is 39!

Jacob was on that table and he was conveniently quiet.  But apparently, he's shared w/ his 1st grade teacher a lot of things, including James & my child planning differences .  Perhaps it was because I gave him a watchful eye, or because he couldn't brag since I'm only 35. ;)

Kid A reads from book:  " I am not!", Chloe snapped. " .. . . "

Me:   What does the word "snapped" mean?

Kid B & Kid C snap their fingers.

Me:  That's one meaning of snap.  But how about in this story? 

Kid A:  Oh, I know.  It's when you talk mad at someone.  Like the way my mom talks to me when she's mad at me.

Ahh.... The joy of spending time w/ kids when you can leave any time!

Dealing with Anxiousness

I called Mark & Audrey since I didn't get a reply to my email.  I always like talking to them because I feel they are such godly, humble people who I wish I could be more like.  I was a little bit caught by surprise when Mark shared with me his concern that I have a pattern of anxiety about Jacob's schooling and that this might just be the beginning of it.  Ironically, I thought that my decision to go to Sutter was a sign that I was trusting God more, not that I was too worried.  I was abandoning the security of sending Jacob to the "best school in CA" because I valued the community and friendship we had at Sutter, and had confidence that despite the seemingly lower test scores, Jacob was getting a good education.  I also felt a confidence that God had given me the opportunity to go to Millikin just to be thankful for what I had at Sutter.

This is the email I sent to them after our conversation.

Dear Mark & Audrey,

Thank you for the length of time you spent talking w/ me and sorry that I probably talked for 90 percent of it.  If there's anything you more you feel you want to share with me I'd be happy to receive it.

What I did register from our conversation is your honest concern regarding my anxiousness.  I really appreciate your honesty and I agree with you.  But I assure you that the experiences in the past few moths have taught me to trust Him more.  Sutter was once my no-other-choice-school, CLIP was the closed-door school, and Millikin was the winning-ticket-must-accept school.  I am now embracing Sutter by my free-will and I need to pray and repent to God for not trusting Him when I was put there in the first place.

By God's grace, I will report back to you in 3 months, 6 months, 9 months that I am still full of thanksgiving to Him!

Millikin decision

This morning I woke up at 5:00 to write a letter to my friend Audrey, who is the PTA president at Millikin.  I was wrestling with this issue all weekend, and it just became clearer and clearer. I'll send this email to Audrey tomorrow if I am successful to getting back to Sutter.  I'm really nervous about that.

Dear Audrey,

Just wanted to let you know that I decided to send Jacob back to our home school, Sutter.  We've been thinking and praying about this, and we are sure this is what we wanted to do.

I wanted to let you know the the reasons why, because you are such a big part of Milllikin and my desire for Jacob to attend in the first place.

Basically, I'm going back to Sutter not because of what Millikin is, but because of what I'm leaving at Sutter.  I really had no business applying to Millikin in the first place.  I didn't apply till the end of January, didn't visit the school tours since two years before that, and didn't even care about my number on the waiting list.  But after discovering that I had a good waiting list number, I was so enticed to attend Millikin because of its strength in academics, its structure and discipline, and because your family attended that school -- and I have a lot of respect for you and your family.  Also, because almost everyone who doesn't know Sutter told me that I'd be crazy to give up the opportunity to "attend the best school in California" or to give-up getting a "private school education for public school prices".  Also thinking about the CLIP program left open the possibility of leaving Sutter, and Millikin was a very attractive, if not better, opportunity.  Plus the work displayed at the open house was very impressive, and the families and children there appeared friendly and happy.

On the other hand, I really had no good reason for leaving Sutter. Sutter has a community of friends whom Jacob & I have grown to love.  Just as my group at LSI was like family to me, so is Sutter.  Of the 55 families in Jacob's 2nd grade class (divided among 3 classrooms), I know about 2/3's of them because of volunteering, after-school activities, sport teams, birthday parties, and just by standing outside near, but not distracting, the classroom those 10 minutes before dismissal.  Like LSI, there are a lot of Christians at Sutter.  We have an after-school Bible club, of which many of Jacob's Christian & non-Christian friends attend, and it is supported by a group of teachers and a principal who pray for the Sutter kids every Wednesday morning.  Also, I really liked how Jacob has friends from school who live just around the corner, and that one day, he & Joanna could actually walk w/ their friends to school. Finally, his teachers at Sutter give warm hugs and while managing to challenge and inspire Jacob.  I have seen Jacob grow tremendously these past two years academically, emotionally, and socially.

Over the past 2 weeks, I've felt so much loss after I left Sutter, and it was reinforced again and again when I pass by the campus, or see old friends.  My feelings were validated by Hong (thank you for passing me her contact info), who told me that after 3 years at Millikin, her son still longed to return to Sutter (which is not an option for him since Sutter is not their home school).

I feel that God allowed me to send Jacob a little while to Millikin to really appreciate what I had at Sutter.  I'm sure that if Jacob had started out at Millikin as a Kindergartener, I would probably love Millikin just as I do Sutter.  While I had been conerned at Sutter about whether it was academic or structured enough, or whether Jacob's education was being slowed down by the  academically "lowest kids", I now feel a new confidence that this is where God has put us and this is where I want my kids to be.

Kettle corn & Pho don't mix

On Friday, Joanna and I went to the farmer's market to buy kettle corn to fill in goody bags that I was going to pass out to my 1st - 3rd grade children's worship class.  Well, it turned out we had a lot extra, so I ate about 4 cups on my own.  That, plus a medium sized milkshake from baskin robbins and a big bowl of chicken soup on Friday night = typical eating binge.  It wasn't even a certain time of the month when I have food cravings.  Then on Saturday, I had two birthday parties in which I felt the need to have multiple slices of delicious, cheesy and tomato-saucy pizza.  I stepped on the scale this morning and hit an all-time personal high, which is 8 pounds higher than my lowest weight since having Joanna.  (The wonders of breastfeeding). Then for lunch, I had pho, and it really solidified my weight-gain and midsection, making it completely impossible to wear any of my zip-up shorts comfortably.  I weighed myself today, and the scale was up another 2 pounds.  I better have self control tonight for our bi-weekly family dinner with James' family.

The sad thing is that I thought I was supposed to LOSE weight now that I quit work and supposedly have so much more time to exercise!   Well, coincidentally, I did start doing my Kathy Smith upper body workout on Wednesday, and lower body workout on Friday.  I was sore like crazy since I haven't picked up any weights for a couple of months.  That might have triggered my food cravings, and swelling and bloatiness after satisfying them.  Makes it seem better for me to not exercise so that I can have less muscles and weigh less and feel smaller, though flabbier, and not have those eating binges caused by my body trying to repair & build muscle tissue (or at least that's what I'd like to hope is the reason why I was feeling hungry).

Back to School Night at Millikin

Went to Jacob's Back to School night tonight.  James was able to come home from work early so it was nice to go together, especially since there are so many new faces at this school.  I sure miss Sutter where Jacob was attending for K and 1st grade.  Jacob & I were really happy there socially.  We had a lot of friends , and were very involved, and were very familiar with everything.  I never should have listened to my colleague who told me it doesn't hurt to just apply to Millikin.  Who would have known we would have had a lottery number of 3 after getting numbers in the 100's all the previous years!  My friends who don't know Sutter all say I'd be crazy for passing up the chance to go to the best school in California (according to the API scores).

Millikin definitely has a different culture than Sutter.  The nick-name "militant" seems quite appropriate.  But it does seem like they are doing a good job teaching the basics.  I wonder if Jacob is really better off there than at Sutter.  I'll give it a year and consider going back to Sutter if I am very unhappy there.

I was happy to finally meet some other parents from Jacob's classroom tonight.  For the past few weeks I've been introducing myself to other parents, but usually there was little reciprocated interest in talking to me because their child is in a different grade.  I was a little disappointed, and I should stop comparing with Sutter where I know all the parents (at least by face), but I have decided that I am sending Jacob to Millikin to learn and that's all I'll expect for this year.

I volunteer in the science lab tomorrow, so I am very excited about that . 

My First Blog

This is my first blog.  I thought it would be nice to start journaling now that I started my new life as a Stay At Home Mom of 2 kids, after being a part-time working mom for the past 7 years.  It's been 3.5 weeks now, and I'm loving it!  Although I admit the first few days, I was seriously contemplating going back to work.  But my kids started school last week, and I am finally starting to get a routine going.

I've got a lot to write about, since I am quite the verbose one among my friends, and since I lost a regular adult audience to talk to during the day.  So I am very excited about this new medium in which to vent my thoughts and feelings.  But being that this is my first blog, I better stop here and press the publish button and see how this works.  Plus, it's almost midnight, and I should be going to bed.