School is for learning!

Last year, after a very disappointing 5th grade in which Jacob did not acheive honor roll because of his half-hearted effort, I had an incredible revelation.   Jacob did not understand that school was for learning!

It happened like this.  After shouting at him for a long time about why he shouldn't try to talk over his teacher while she was teaching, why he shouldn't be folding ninja stars for friends during computer lab, why his backpack should be filled with his homework instead of his Pokemon cards, I said, "Didn't you know that school is for LEARNING?"

Suddenly,he gave me this shocked and sheepish look.  It was like he realized for the first time that he had been off base for so long.   I think this incorrect mindset started in Kindergarten.  He entered already knowing how to read and write and add and subtract.  So Kindergarten, in which they spend a good amount of time introducing letters and numbers, was completely a review for him. However, the socialization aspect of Kindergarten was very rich, and he grasped onto the concept very quickly.

Fast forward to this morning, the last day of 6th grade, and alas, as he stormed out of the house to his carpool angry at me, I realize that he still has not learned the concept that school is for LEARNING.  Granted that I am not able to reprimand him with a sweet and gentle voice, which according to him, is the problem he had with me, but his reaction proves to me that there still is some wiring missing in his brain.

The events that brought me to this conclusion today is best captured in dialogue form.

05-23-12  I glanced at Jacob's preAlgebra test results and notice a glaring 60% on his Formulas Test among a list of test scores that are decent.

me:      Jacob!  Why did you get a D minus on a test?
Jacob:  I forgot about the test.
me:      What was on the test?
Jacob: I had to write down formulas for stuff, like volume and surface area for a cylinders and I didn't know we were going to have a test so I didn't study for it.
me:  Oh my gosh!  You couldn't DERIVE the formula for the volume and surface area of a cylinder?   There must be a gap in your understanding!!!
Jacob:  I know the cylinder one.  There were shapes like cone and triangular pyramid.
me:  You couldn't DERIVE the formula for the pyramid?
Jacob:  I could, but I was supposed to state the formula exactly the way she wanted it, not just add up all the sides.
me: All you had to do was review it ONCE before the test!  I bet when the teacher told you about the test, you weren't paying attention!  Tell me, what IS the formula for the volume and surface area of a cone and triangular pyramid?
Jacob: I don't know,that's why I got it wrong.
me:  Well, LOOK IT UP!  And you better tell me!

Then I get distracted by something.


5-30-12 
me:  Jacob, what is the formula for the surface area and volume of a triangular pyramid and cone?
Jacob:  I don't know.
me:  What??? I thought I told you to look it up!  Get a piece of paper , right now ,and draw a cone, a sphere,  and a triangular pyramid and write down the formula for getting the volume and surface area next to each picture.
Jacob:  <GROWL,WHINE, JERKING >  You are so mean!  I bet no other mom is making their kid do this right now.
me:  That's because all the other kids already KNOW IT! Do it NOW!
Jacob < GROWL, WHINE, JERKING>   Why do you make me do this?  It's not going to be on the Final!
me:  JACOB!  WHY CAN'T YOU JUST DO WHAT I SAY???  Do it!  Or you lose your birthday party this weekend!
Jacob :  You are SO MEAN!!!  Why are you always threatening to take away my birthday party!!!

10 minutes later he digs out some notes from class and writes the formulas down on a piece of paper.  I am too busy to review it, but I see the first one on the list,the sphere, looks right.

5-31-12  It is just before his final, and we are waiting for his carpool  I refer to the sheet of paper that had Jacob's formulas from last night.
me:   Jacob,what is the formula for the volume of a triangular pyramid?
Jacob: One third base area times height.
me:  Good!  And what is the volume of a cone?
Jacob:  I don't know.
me:  What do you mean you don't know, you just wrote it last night.  WAIT A MINUTE!!!  YOU WROTE IT WRONG ON YOUR SHEET OF PAPER!  YOU PUT THE VOLUME OFTHE TRIANGULAR PYRAMID FOR THE VOLUME OF THE CONE!!!!  ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS COPY THE FORMULA DOWN CORRECTLY. HOW ARE YOU GOING TO KNOWTHE ANSWER IF YOU CANT EVEN COPY IT DOWN CORRECTLY??
Jacob:  IT'S NOT GOING TO BE ON THE FINAL! WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS YELLING AT ME?
me:  I'm yelling because I am frustrated. I gave you a simple task to copy down the formulas.  I DON'T CARE if it's not going to be on the final!  You need to know this as a PERSON. 
< meanwhile, as I am yelling, Jacob is walking away, filtering me out>
me:  You get over here right NOW and tell me what the formula for the volume of a cone is.  How do you think I KNOW that you had the wrong formula for the volume of a cone?  Get over here right now or else I'm taking away your birthday party.
Jacob:  Because it was exactly the same as the other one.
me:  No!  How ELSE did I know?
Jacob: I don't know!!!!
me:  one third base area times height ,for the volume of a cone?  Tell me how I know it's WRONG!!!
Jacob:  Because it was missing pi ?
me:  YES!!!  How could you not notice that you didn't even have pi in the formula when there was something circular?  There should always be a pi!!!
Jacob:  Why are you ALWAYS YELLING?
me:  Because you don't listen to me!!!  Don't you even care that you got this wrong?  I am trying to help you!
Jacob:  You are such a MEAN MOM! You make such a big deal about something so SMALL!  It was just a careless mistake. It's not even going to be on the final.
me:  You are such a MEAN KID!  Jacob, this is the last day of school!  You are responsible for understanding all the concepts taught this year.
Jacob:  And why are you always talking about taking away my birthday party?
me:  Because it's the only thing that you care about!

Carpool comes.  There was more dialogue than the above, but that was the general idea. Jacob is furious with me and accusing me of being the most unreasonable mom in the world.  As his carpool drives away I shake my head in frustration.



------------------------------------------------------------
June 1st,
Hi Everyone,

I just realized I was the one that over-reacted!  Now I am embarassed!  It's just that Jacob does so many careless things, (like today, as I cleaned out his binder I found a one hundred point quiz he forgot to turn in!) so I thought this was another example.

When he said the volume of the cone was 1/3 BA * height , he was actually copying exactly from his notes.  I realized that BA meant area of the base, where as I thought B and A were the lengths of the base rectangle.  Except that a triangular pyramid has a triangle on the bottom, so i should have known B and A weren't the two lengths.

So what he was supposed to tell me in the next step was A = pi R-squared for the base area of a cone, which of course he knows.   But I started yelling at him before he could tell me that.  =(

Interestingly enough, when I was mad yesterday and wrote the blog entry, I wrote base area instead of B A as I was quoting him, because he said "base area" but all I saw was "BA" on his cheat sheet.

Thankfully, I didn't cancel the birthday party.  I just gave him a big hug right now and apologized.  Thankfully also that he is a very sweet and forgiving boy.

Interestingly, I asked Jacob why he didn't explain himself.  He thought he did something wrong,because he though adults were always right.